Fighting Monsters - A Sparia FanFic
by ComeOnWe'reTeamSparia
Summary: WARNING: this story contains mentions of serious issues. Such as mentions of self-harm and disordered eating. DO NOT read if you are easily triggered. Aria has always been known as the "strange" girl in Rosewood, but no one really knows exactly how much she's sufferring inside. Will she share her secret with the one person she trusts?
1. Chapter 1

**WARNING: THIS STORY IS A SPARIA STORY BUT IT DEALS WITH VERY SERIOUS ISSUES LIKE SELF-HARM AND EATING DISORDERS. IF YOU ARE EASILY TRIGGERED DON'T READ. I DO NOT OWN PLL BUT IF I DID SPARIA WOULD HAVE BEEN A COUPLE FROM DAY ONE. Okay so this is my first fanfic. Please give me feedback on whether you like this story or not and if it is well written or not. The first Chapter will revolve around Aria and her struggles. LAST WARNING: IF YOU EASILY TRIGGERED THEN PLEASE DO NOT READ.**

Chapter one: _Her Battle_

Aria was sitting on her bed in her bedroom with the door wide open and blood trickling from her left wrist to the carpet. She knew that if she doesn't clean the blood soon, it will stain the carpet, but right now she just couldn't bring herself to care. Besides, her parents and Mike were out of town for the week because of a lacrosse tournament that Mike has. She's been doing this ever since she saw her dad making out with Meredith last year. Like always, it had started off with just one cut. But soon after, it became two then three then four until she'd lost count. She never really considered that her cuts were serious because they were always shallow. They were deep enough to feel pain but not deep enough to leave a scar.

Aria was definitely not the perfect typical Rosewood girl, and if anybody found out about her problems she would not be able to hear the end of it. She was already the "strange" girl of the town, she didn't need another label. As she was going to bring the blade over to another part of her wrist, her phone lit up. It was Spencer texting her that she was going to get Chinese food and come over in about half an hour. "Great", she thought. Aria wasn't upset that Spencer was coming over; in fact Aria had absolutely no problem with Spencer coming over. She actually wanted her to, needed her even. She doesn't know when she started crushing on one of her best friends, but she thinks it started when Spencer once begged her to come help her with something and when Aria was reluctant to, Spencer begged her by saying "Come on we`re Team Sparia!" Aria instantly fell in love with that name. Of course Spencer only meant for it to be their friendship name, but ever since then Aria has always thought about how cute they could be if they really became a couple. "Damn, Team Sparia... sounds sexy... Just like Spencer" she thought the first time she acknowledged her feelings towards the tall brunette. But what Aria was really upset about is the food part. Aria despised food. The very thought of food made her stomach churn and turn upside down. This has been going on for a while now too. She supposes that it started off after the Meredith and her dad scene, just like the cutting. It always went back to that afternoon. Again no one noticed that there was anything wrong with her. She decided that in order not let anyone suspect her habits, she told everyone that she decided to become a vegetarian. That way she avoided all the high calorie foods without raising any questions, and everyone bought that lie. Of course she's lost about twenty pounds since then, but everyone just thought it was because she has been on a very healthy diet. She's tried to recover, she really did. But the consuming thoughts were too much for her to handle so she gave up and went back into the arms of her inner demon. After all, Anorexia was a bitch. She'd love to say that she hated all of this, but she'd be lying. Sure these habits drained all her energy, but she felt in control and control is very valuable since everything else in her life lacked of it.

Since she was completely home alone this week, she decided to go on a liquid fast. Only water, zero calorie and low calorie drinks were allowed. But now Spencer was coming over with Chinese food. Her phone lit up again, and once again it was Spencer. the text said that Spencer got the food and was on her way over. She said she'll arrive in ten minutes. "OH CRAP, ten minutes, I gotta clean up!" Aria then ran to the bathroom, put her wrist under water and rinsed it while examining the cut. It was deep but not too deep. She then opened the bathroom cabinet and took out a big bandage from the bandages box that Mike keeps for when he cuts his knee or chin during his games. She bandaged her wrist, washed her blade then soaked a towel and went over to her bedroom to clean her carpet. After rubbing it for two minutes, it was clean enough for no one to notice what was stained on it. When she finished, she went over to her closet and opened it to find something cute to wear for Spencer and to cover up her wrist. She chose her favourite long sleeve checkered shirt and her cutest skinny jeans. She then went and fixed her hair and applied some makeup. Just as she finished, her door bell rang and her heart skipped a beat. "Spencer", she said. She ran down the stairs, and then paused halfway through the living room to calm her breathing. "I hate myself for falling for you" she muttered. "Okay time to get myself together and put on my most convincing smile!" she said to herself as she openned the door. Spencer looked so happy to see her at first but then something in her expression changed. Spencer looked like she just saw a ghost.


	2. Chapter 2: I swear I'm fine

**Hi Guys! Sorry I'm late but I finally finished school so now I can update as much as I want! :D Thanks everyone for your support! I really appreciated your sweet reviews and how some of you favourite my story! Love you guys! I hope you enjoy this chapter! Warning, it gets very intense for Aria in this chapter so again please don't read if you are easily triggered. Please let me know what you guys thought of this chapter! Enjoy!**

"Aria!" Screamed Spencer. "You look as pale as a ghost!" Well that explains why looked like she saw a ghost, thought Aria. "What are you talking about?" Aria asked innocently. "Aria have you been eating? You honestly look like you haven't eaten for a week!" Aria searched her brain for an excuse. "Of course I've been eating! I'm just tired maybe that's why I look so pale." Spencer raised her eyebrow. She is so not buying this, thought Aria. "Okay Okay fine so I've been a little too stressed out to eat. I'm sure I don't even look that pale." "Aria, you look PALE. come here."

Spencer put the food on the kitchen counter, took Aria's hand and sat her on the couch beside her. "What has been stressing you out so much that you can't eat?" Spencer showed so much concern and it made Aria love her even more. "Nothing serious" she lied. "Just school. I need to bring my grades up higher because I need to apply to college soon so I've just been studying a lot and haven't been really able to go out. And also..." "Also what?" asked Spencer with even more concern showing in her voice. "It's just the breakup with Ezra. I've been having a hard time realizing that it is for good this time." Well it wasn't a complete lie, she did take the breakup really hard and she's still not quite used to `not going over to his apartment. "Aria I'm really sorry I haven't been fully there for you to support you after the breakup." Spencer showed so much sincerity in her eyes that Aria just wanted to take Spencer's lips and glue them to her own. She really wish she could just kiss her. "Spencer it's okay! Seriously. I know you have been really busy and you're trying to work things out with Toby again. Besides I'm strong and I can get through this." "Yes you are. You're one of the strongest and most loving people I know. I admire how nothing can drag you down!" Yup nothing can drag me down... I'm soooo strong, thought Aria sarcastically. "Thank you" said Aria while trying to put on a convincing smile. At that, Spencer leaned in and put her arms around Aria and hugged her really tight. "You shouldn't thank for telling you the truth" she whispered in her ear. That whisper sent so much electricity down Aria's body that she thought she was going to lose herself and really kiss her best friend.

"Okay" said Spencer after letting go of Aria. "I brought food and I'm hungry and you need to eat so let's go into the kitchen, get the food, make some popcorn and come back and put a movie on." "Spencer I'm really not that hungry..." Aria was interrupted by her stomach growling. Spencer raised her eyebrow again. "Yeah not hungry at all, I can tell. You're eating and there's nothing you can do. Now come to the kitchen and help me." Aria went into the kitchen with Spencer dreading that she cannot get out of eating. "it's okay you haven't eaten for 4 days you can have a bit of food." Said a voice in her head. "Are you kidding me? after all those days of not eating and of being strong, you're going to cave in and eat?" Said another voice. "If you can't help but eat, there's always a way to get rid of it." Said the first voice. Aria shook her head to stop the voices. "You okay?" asked Spencer while getting the popcorn bag out of the microwave. "Yeah I'm fine." "Well okay I'll bring the food and plates and you bring the popcorn bowl." Two minutes later, Spencer watched as Aria took her first bite. "let's go, eat." There's no way I'm getting out of this am I? thought Aria. "Like I said, you can always get rid of it." said that voice again. Aria then gave in to the voice and nodded in agreement. It's the old thing I could do, she though. Aria then took her first bite and Spencer's smiles spread across her face. Aria took another bite to just to keep that smile on Spencer's face. "I'll do anything for that smile" she said under her breath.

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The girls have finished eating and were now watching _Silver Linings Playbook. _Aria was leaning against Spencer and Spencer had her arms around her. Aria actually felt happy at that moment. She was sitting in the embrace of her best friend and crush. Aria leaned in even closer and Spencer took her in more then kissed the back of her head. This gesture was enough to drive Aria crazy. She really wanted Spencer. She wanted her with everything in her. She knew she loved her. But she also knew that Spencer was completely straight and completely in love with Toby. She doesn't stand a chance against perfect Toby. She was messed up and had so many problems. "Spencer would never want you. Who would want an ugly and fat self-harmer?" said that second voice that was yelling at her before. That voice killed Aria. It always yelled her and sadly most of the time Aria agreed with it. She will never love me. Not when I have so many issues going on with me, thought Aria while a tear slipped down her face. Lost in her thoughts, Aria didn't realize that Spencer had fallen asleep. Aria turned around and saw a Spencer sleeping soundly. Aria got out of Spencer's embrace as carefully as she could and laid. Spencer down on the couch and covered her in a blanket. Then she kissed her forehead and admired how peaceful she looked. "You're an angel" she whispered.

Aria then climbed up the stairs into her bedroom. Once in her room, she let her tears fall freely but quietly. "She will never want me. How could she even?! She has Toby. Perfect little Toby who loves her and has her and I'm just this short little idiot who cuts her wrist and starves herself because she will never be perfect for anyone. How is she even friends with me?! I don't even want to be friends with myself!" Her tears were falling harder and she felt her head pounding. "Do it. You know how to make yourself feel better. Come on, do it." Said that same second voice. She then got up went to the bathroom, got her special box and ran back to her room and locked her door. She quickly opened the box and pulled out the blade. As soon as the blade made contact against her skin she felt herself calm down. Then as she realized what is she was doing to herself, her tears started to fall again and she became disgusted with herself. "How long am I going to be doing this for?! And I'm actually wondering why no one loves me? If I don't even love myself how can anyone else?! Why me? Why?" she cried. She took the blade off of her skin to see what she did then brought the blade over to another spot on her wrist. She started feeling the relief and she loved it. For the next 10 minutes she felt like she was at an all time high. That was until the voice spoke again. "Okay now that you got what you wanted, I'd like to remind you that you still have all that disgusting food in you. Are you not planning on doing something about it?" It scowled. Then the other voice chimed in saying "You know how to get rid of it come on you can do it." She then gave up and gave in.

She walked quietly to the bathroom, washed her wrist and wrapped towel around she got a hold of her toothbrush. She opened the toilet and kneeled down in front it. She started throwing up and was doing her best to keep quiet. She managed to get everything out. When she thought she finished, she flushed the toilet, put her tooth brush back and stared at her reflection in the mirror. Her body was shaking badly. "You did it" said the first voice. "Finally you're all emptied out" said the second voice harshly. Tears started to fall down Aria's face again. She was shaking so hard that she started feeling lightheaded. She tried to even out her breathing. In and out in and out, she thought. When she thought that her breathing has evened out, she stood straight and started to walk until her head spun. Her vision then blurred, everything went black and then her head hit the ground. Spencer then was startled awake by the loud thud from upstairs.


	3. Chapter 3: Please Wake Up

**HI! :D Well I read the reviews and saw that you guys really wanted me to update soon so I did as soon as I figured out exactly how I wanted this chapter to go! You guys have been so kind and supportive! Reviews really make me smile so PLEASE review after you read! And if any of you have an idea that you'd like me to add to the story, suggestions are welcomed! Okay so here you go! Chapter 3! Read, Enjoy and Review! :D**

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Spencer, alarmed, stood right up and yelled for Aria. "Aria! Aria! Are you okay? Did you drop something?" Spencer listened for an answer from Aria but she didn't get one. Spencer then ran upstairs into Aria's bedroom. There was no sign of Aria in the room just a messy bed. Then something on Aria's bed caught her eye. She got a closer look and realized that it was blood. "Oh my God. Ariaaaa!" she screamed. Spencer then got out and looked into Aria's parents' room and Mike's room but again there was no sign of Aria. She then ran to go look in the bathroom, and nothing could have prepared her for the sight that was about to see.

"Aria! Oh my God, baby Girl!" screamed Spencer. She found Aria passed out on the bathroom floor in front of the toilet. "Aria please wake up!" Spencer cried as she shook Aria's unconscious body. "Aria get up!" In tears Spencer got her cellphone out and dialed 911.

_- Hello 911 what's your emergency?_

_- Please come! My friend is unconscious on the bathroom floor. Please you have to come fast! She's not waking up!_

_- Is she breathing?_

_- She is but her pulse is very faint!_

Spencer then noticed Aria's bloody towel on her wrist and gasped

_- Oh My God! she's bleeding from her wrist there's blood all over her arm! Please come fast! She's losing a lot of blood!_

_- There's an ambulance coming right now. Get a towel and apply pressure to her wrist to subside her bleeding._

At that Spencer dropped her phone and ran into Aria's room to find something thick she can use to wrap Aria's wrist. She looked in her closet and found a scarf that Aria has never worn. She took the scarf and ran back to Aria. She took the wet bloody towel off her wrist and replaced it with the scarf. She was shaking with sobs as she was yelling at Aria to wake up. "Aria! Please wake up! Why did you do that to yourself Ari! Why baby?" she yelled as she sobbed harder.

Five minutes later, she heard the doorbell ring and a paramedic yell "It's the paramedics let us in." Spencer then ran down, opened the door and cried "she's upstairs in the bathroom." The paramedics then went in with a stretcher and brought Aria down on the stretcher. As they were bringing her in the ambulance vehicle, Spencer ran out of the house and tried to come in the vehicle with Aria but a paramedic stopped her. "Please let me be near her" she begged while she cried." "I'm sorry but you can drive yourself to the hospital" said a paramedic. "Please. I can't drive right now I just want to be near her." Then the paramedic looked at his co-worker and nodded then told her "Okay hop on." Spencer then got in the vehicle and stayed at Aria's side and took her phone out to dial Hanna's number.

_- Hanna!_

_- Spencer? Why is there so much noise? Is that an ambulance siren?_

_- Hanna please get Emily and meet me at the hospital._

_- Oh my God. Spencer is everything okay? Why are you crying?_

_- Hanna please just get Emily and meet me at the hospital. _At that, Spencer hung up.

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It only took ten minutes to arrive at the hospital. When they arrived, the paramedics took Aria straight to a room and told Spencer to wait outside until the doctor comes out to talk to her. Two minutes later Emily and Hanna came running in. As soon as they spotted Spencer, they came running to her asking her what happened. After she explained to them about how she found Aria, the girls started shaking with sobs asking themselves why Aria would do that to herself. Ten minutes later they all sat in the waiting room just staring at nothing while they silently prayed that Aria would be fine.

After the longest half hour that Spencer has ever experienced, the doctor came out of Aria's room. Spencer got up right away and ran towards the doctor.

_- How is she? Is she okay? _

_- Spencer-_

_- Please tell me she's okay_

_- Well we stitched her cuts on her wrist. She's in stable condition right now._

_- Oh my God thank God. What happened to her?_

_- Well, your friend was very dehydrated and weak and that caused her to faint. It looks like she hadn't eaten in or put anything solid in her system for at least a week._

_- No no no no. That makes no sense. she said she was only stressed. And And we both ate Chinese food and popcorn just earlier today!_

_- Hmm.. Well I think the only theory that we can assume right now is that she brought back down all the food that she ate with you._

_- Wh-what do you mean doctor?_

_- I mean that she threw up all the that food she ate._

_- thre-threw up_? Spencer gasped.

_- I'm sorry Spencer but I think your friend is suffering from an eating disorder._

That was something Spencer never thought she would hear.

_- An eating disorder? Aria is suffering from an eating dis-disorder?_

_- I'm afraid so. And since the cuts on her wrist look self inflicted, I assume she also struggles with self-harm. We could only assume that these theories are true until the patient wakes up and we can speak to her, but I am afraid that I might unfortunately be correct because all of the signs and symptoms are visible. _

__When finished, the doctor left but his words still hung in the air. An eating disorder? threw up? self-harm? These words just kept repeating over and over in Spencer's mind. How could Aria- HER Aria suffer from all of this? And more importantly, how could she not have noticed that Aria was suffering so much inside?

Spencer numbly went back to the waiting room where Hanna and Emily were waiting for her to tell them what the doctor said. All Spencer could say to the two girls were the words that were stuck in her mind. "H-he said that sh-she.. self-harm, eating di-dis-disorder, Aria.. How?" Was all could Spencer say. Hanna and Emily both looked at each other with tears threatening to spill from their eyes. They too were shocked and were in disbelief that their best friend could be suffering from all that without them knowing about it. The three girls then held each other while they all cried again. All they wanted was to see their best friend wake up to tell her how much they loved her.

After the girls had calmed down, they asked the doctor for permission to go into Aria's room and wait for her till she wakes up and the doctor agreed. Spencer was sitting right next to Aria and Hanna and Emily were sitting across Aria's bed. "I can't lose her..." the two girls heard Spencer whisper. "We know Spence.. we don't want to lose her either" said Emily. "She is just so beautiful and I can't believe that I didn't notice what she was doing!" said Spencer as tears started falling down her face again. "None of us noticed. Don't blame it all on your self" said Hanna. "But you guys... I love her. I can't lose the love of my life. I-I- I just can't" Spencer cried. She brought her arm out to stroke Aria's hair. "We know Spence.. we know. We know how much you love her. You won't lose her. We ca-can't lose her. We won't" Hanna tried to convince Spencer while also trying to convince herself. As Spencer was stroking Aria's hair, she felt her stir. At Aria's movement, Spencer gasped and the girls looked at her but all she could do was just point to Aria. As the girls were looking down at Aria, Aria slowly opened her eyes to see her three best friends staring down at her with relief visible on their faces.

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**Okay so for some reason I feel like this chapter may not have been my best :/ Please review and tell me what you think! if you liked it, review! If you didn't like it, still review and tell me what you would like to see in upcoming chapters! Pretty please review and tell me what you think! :D**


	4. Chapter 4 - You can't see me like this

**Hi! I want to start off by saying I am so so sorry for taking so long to update. But here I am and I promise you to update at LEAST once a week. I hope you guys are still interested in this story. Your reviews have been so amazing. They mean so much to me and they encourage me to keep writing. To be honest I didn't think I would get this much positive feedback! **

**ThaKid: your review honestly made me smile. Thank you so much for your kind words! And yes I am going to try my best to not rush anything from now on. You are now going to be taken on Aria's journey to recovery and whether or not it will be successful. And yes Spencer will be taking care of Aria as of now ; ) But I do have to say that feelings won't be admitted for a while. **

**alisonisredcoat: I am saddened to hear that you relate to this story. Please Stay Strong3 and feel free to PM me anytime : )**

**Everyone else: THANK YOU THANK YOU FOR YOUR REVIEWS! They make me so happy and encourage me to keep writing! **

**Okay so now on to the chapter. I hope you guys like it. Don't forget to review :D **

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"Guys?" questioned Aria while trying to adjust her eyes to the light. She felt as if she's just woken up from a coma. Her head felt heavy and her throat was extremely dry. "What's going on? Why are you guys looking at me like you haven't seen me in months?" she laughed. Then she noticed Spencer's eyes. They were filled with tears. She looked at the other two girls and they looked as they have been crying too. Suddenly it hit her, memories of the afternoon coming back to her. How she watched a movie with Spencer, then went up and grabbed her razor then went to the bathroom and then- wait no, no, no, no they don't know. They can't know, she thought. She then looked around and realized that she didn't recognize where she was.

No I can't be where I think I am, she thought. "Where am I? Guys _where _am I? Aria asked urgently. "Ar" Spencer started to speak but was interrupted by Aria's plea. "Please Spence just tell me where I am." "Aria you're in the hospital" Hanna said. "No. No. I can't be. You're kidding. If this is a joke, it's not funny" she said. She then, for the first time, looked around to see that she was in a white room lying on a white bed. For the first time she heard the beeping of machines around her. No, no, no, she thought.

She closed her eyes wishing that she was dreaming. She couldn't be at the hospital. _Why _was she at the hospital? She wondered as she started to sit up. As she brought her hands closer to her so she can pull herself up, she saw the bandage around her wrist and gasped. No, no, no, this can't be happening, she kept repeating to herself. She brought her wrist to her face and examined it closely. She saw that her wrist had been stitched up and bandaged. She then remembered that her three best friends were right beside her. She slid her hand under the covers in attempt to hide it and looked at her three best friends. They all had tears in their eyes.

"You guys have it all wrong. It's nothing serious I just slipped and fell on a razor when I was in the bathroom while Spence was asleep. You know me, I'm really clumsy and fragile" she tried to convince them while trying to muster a laugh. The three girls were definitely not convinced. "Ari-" Spencer began but got cut off by Aria once again. "No Spence you have to believe me. There's nothing wrong. It was a mistake. _Please_ you have to believe me" Aria begged as tears started to spill from her eyes. Aria's mind began to race. They can't know, they just can't. This is my secret. They can't know how messed up I am - Spencer can't know how messed up I am. She'll hate me. She'll think I'm weak, Aria kept thinking to herself.

She then was brought back to reality by someone rubbing her back. She realized that while she was internally panicking, Spencer had sat herself beside her on the bed and began to rub her back in attempt to calm her down. At first Aria was grateful for the comfort, but that was until Spencer had mustered enough courage to ask the questions she's been asking since she found Aria's unconscious body on the bathroom floor. "Why Aria? Why did you do that? Why didn't you tell us? Why didn't you tell _me_?" Spencer pleaded for an answer. At Spencer's questions, something inside of Aria snapped and she shoved Spencer away from her."Go away! You can't see me like this! You were never supposed to see me like this! Any of you. Especially you, Spencer. Leave. Now! I can't believe this is happening!" Aria violently yelled and shoved her friends away. She then started to pull out the tubes and wires that were holding her hostage in that awful hospital room. As she pulled at the wires, the machines around her started to beep. As soon as the beeping started, nurses and doctors rushed in to see a distraught Aria trying to free herself. "LET ME GO! THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH ME! Cried Aria. Spencer then, seeing her best friend and the love of her life in such a mad state, cried out to her between sobs, "Aria _please _let them help you! Aria you can't kill yourself. You can't keep doing what you're doing! You have to stay and let them help you!" "I wasn't trying to kill myself!" yelled Aria. "I WAS TRYING TO SURVIVE."

At that, the nurses rushed Spencer and the girls out of Aria's room and apologetically told them that they have to wait outside until the doctors were able to stabilize Aria. Spencer then stared into the window of Aria's room and watched as the nurses tried to lay Aria back down on the bed as one doctor gave her a shot that made her almost instantly calm down while another doctor was putting the wires and tubes back into their places. As she kept looking into the window, she watched as Aria slowly relaxed and eventually fell asleep while the nurses fixed her bed and made her comfortable. As the nurses and the doctors left Aria's room, the girls all looked at each other and knew that they were all thinking the same thing.

The girls have never seen Aria like this. Aria was always the one that put on a brave face for the girls. Aria was always the one each of the girls would go to when they needed someone to talk to without feeling judged. Aria was always the strong one, even though she was tiny, she was still big. At that moment, the girls came to a realization. Their best friend who has always been their rock of support was on the edge of a cliff and was hanging on by a thread. They have never thought that Aria could be the one that was the most broken. They all kept thinking of ways they can try to save Aria because if they don't then they could really lose her, and that thought terrified them more than anything in the world.

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**Okay! What did you guys think? Please review and let me know whether you liked the chapter or not! I hope you all did! Oh, and I wrote a Sparia one-shot called ****_How Could You_****. I'd really appreciate it if you read it and told me what you thought about it. Multiple people told me to continue it but I'm not sure yet. If I do, it'll be a love Sparia story. So let me know what you think! Okay thank you guys for reading! Remember to review! :D**


	5. I promise

**Wow has it been a long time! I can't even begin to tell you guys how sorry I am that it's taken me this long to update. Summer was a lot more hectic than I thought it was going to be. I am so, so sorry that this chapter is so late. I hope you guys are still interested in this. I will continue writing it and I also have other stories written. I have a sequel to the Together Forever one shot and I wrote many one shots of Aria after she finds out *SPOILER ALERT* that Ezra is A. So keep a look out for them :) Again, I'm sorry this is late but I hope you will all enjoy the chapter. Please read and review whether you like it or not :) You can also tell me if there is anything that you would like me to improve on. Okay, now read on and review please :D**

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Spencer opened her eyes to find herself on a chair in the hospital's waiting room. She realized that she must have fallen asleep from exhaustion after Aria's breakdown. She was still in disbelief over what happened last night. Spencer, along with Hanna and Emily, watched her best friend completely lose it. Watching Aria go mad as she did, made Spencer feel as though somebody had ripped her heart out of her chest and stepped over it repeatedly.

She didn't know what she was supposed to do, so all she could do was watch. Her best friend was struggling right in front of her and she felt completely helpless. Spencer had never felt helpless before, she always tried to be in control of everything, so this feeling was foreign to her.

All Spencer wanted to do was kiss Aria to make her pain go away. But Spencer knew better. She knew that this was more serious than just a scratch or a cut that a little kid would get falling off a swing where you could just kiss it and make it better. She couldn't just hug her and kiss her and expect her to magically get better. No, this was going to be much harder.

She knew it was going to be difficult, but Spencer was determined to help Aria. She decided that she needed to talk to Aria's doctor later, in order to know exactly how she can help. She supposed that he will recommend Aria to go see a therapist and possibly a nutritionist. She also knew that there was a good chance the doctor will prescribe her some anti-depressant medication.

Spencer sighed and stood up to walk to Aria's room. She looked through the room's window. Even under all the wires that Aria was strapped to, Spencer noticed that for once Aria looked peaceful asleep.

Spencer watched her as she wondered when all of this could have started. She wondered if she had ever missed any of the signs. She sighed once again, disappointed in herself for not noticing that her best friend, and the one person she knew with all her heart that she loved, was under so much pressure and in so much pain.

She decided that she needed to see Aria up close, so she opened her room's door and went in. She tried not to cry as she walked in towards her lying in the hospital bed.

Spencer stared at Aria for what seemed to be an eternity. She then lifted her right index finger and brought it towards Aria's face. She traced over eyes, her beautiful eyes of ever changing colours. That's what Spencer has always thought about Aria's perfect eyes. She traced over her forehead, her eyebrows, and down to her nose. She caressed her hair. Then finally, she traced over her lips. Aria's lips were full and had always been naturally pink. Spencer had always wondered how soft Aria's lips were. She had wanted to kiss them on more than one occasion. She wondered how they would taste. If they would taste like cherry because of the cherry lip gloss she always wore.

As Spencer was about to lean in and kiss Aria's lips for the first time, a voice in her head told her to stop. It told her that it wasn't fair to Aria to kiss her without her knowing. Spencer went back to staring at Aria's beautiful face.

"You're the most beautiful person that I have ever seen" she whispered. "It hurts so much to see you like this and it hurts even more knowing that I can't just fix you and make your pain go away." she said as tears began to fall from her eyes. "I wish you would have told me. I wish I saw the signs. I wish I could have stopped you before it got this far." She paused. "If you were awake you would have told that that was a lot of I wishes" she laughed. "Why didn't you tell me Aria? I thought we told each other everything" she cried. "I love you so much, you know that? I love you too much to see you in this much pain. I'm going to help you Ari. I promise I'm going to do whatever I can to help you get through this."

She leaned down and kissed her forehead and started to trace her face again. "And maybe, somewhere along the way, I would get enough courage to tell you how I really feel. Maybe one day I'll be brave enough to show you how much I love you, Aria." "I promise" she whispered as she leaned down to place another kiss to Aria's forehead. As soon as Spencer's lips left Aria's lips, Aria's eyes fluttered open. "Spencer?"

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**Okay! I hope you liked the chapter :) Please review :) **


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